A local Mennonite church is facing a lot of criticism this week after the Sunday bulletin was released in a heavily redacted form. “All 4 pages were blacked out,” said Mrs. Loewen, who was ushering ...

Renowned anarcho-syndicalist and fierce critic of American foreign policy, professor Noam Chomsky has disclosed his newest and most effective strategy to destroy capitalism–being whisked away in a ...

With several defections in the last few weeks, the Liberals are now just one Mennonite MP away from a majority government and, of course, they’re looking for MPs who might be receptive to crossing the ...

Former 1980s sitcom star-turned-Christian apologist Kirk Cameron made headlines this week after questioning whether Hell is eternal. “But then I watched one of my own movies,” said Cameron, “and let ...

Longtime Steinbach MLA Kelvin Goertzen announced this week that he will not be seeking re-election in the next provincial election. Instead, Goertzen intends to spend his retirement years singing ...

The new FIFA “Peace Prize” was apparently so meaningful to its recipient that it’s already been discarded and discovered amongst all the useless chotskies at the local thrift store. “I couldn’t ...

Not to be outdone by FIFA, the Nobel committee has just come up with a new soccer award, specifically designed for the world’s top demagogues and/or soccer players. The first recipient will be none ...

North Dakota’s attempt to lure crossborder Christmas shoppers has met with a hiccup this week after the local Chamber of Commerce announced they’d be bringing back the wood chipper. “Yeah, I think ...

Mrs. Helena Friesen had a leftover plate of raisin buns from the funeral this afternoon, which required her to hightail it to her Honda CRV lest she freeze her buns off. “Jauma, it’s cold out there,” ...

Mrs. Erin Janzen of Mountain Lake has finally begun to take down last year’s Christmas cards just as soon as the first batch of new ones have arrived. “It’s a painful decision, but it had to be done,” ...

Thousands of Mennonites across Ontario have joined Premier Doug Ford in dumping all the Crown Royal they weren’t intending on drinking anyway. “I use it for cooking or medicinal purposes only,” said ...

Despite a slight hiccup in the plan last night, the Winnipeg Jets are hoping to get back on track and lose every game from now until whenever Connor Hellebuyck comes back. “I’m really disappointed in ...